alone for the holidays

it seems to me that we judge our circumstances by our perception of our ability to succeed in or change said circumstances. uh, in other words, most situations aren’t inherently good or bad, they’re contextually good or bad. sort of like being alone during the holidays.

it’s so nice to have a party to blow off

isn’t it wonderful to be alone when you have the option not to?

but it is nice to get the invite. it’s nice to have the social proof. it’s nice to open the box and see there really is a kitty inside.

a kitty inside?

ah, yes, Schrodinger’s cat. wikipedia describes the thought experiments thusly: a hypothetical cat may be considered simultaneously both alive and dead as a result of being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

so, you see, it’s simple quantum physics – you both received and didn’t receive invites to the best parties of the year. you can’t really prove that invites weren’t sent to you. maybe they got lost in the mail. believing things that can’t be unproven can sometimes serve you.

catch you on the flip-side

if you’re lonely, i’m sorry. i don’t have any advice. hell, i have my own fucked-up-but-wonderful life to figure out. but here’s some observations: the best things come packaged with the worst things. so...if there is a circumstance in your life that super-sucks, there absolutely is a benefit on the flip-side. you’re alone? i’ll bet you have free time, don’t you? god, i would club a baby seal for an uninterrupted block of 4 hours. no, seriously. i’ve got a lifetime ban from the zoo because someone once suggested they might take me up on that offer. bygones.

point is – you can change your circumstances or you can change your focus, or you can just keep complaining. if you’re not ready to meet people again; if you’re not ready to get a divorce, or a breakup; if you’re not ready to put on pants, that’s…ok. find the flip-side of being lonely. what does your suffocating relationship or your absolute aloneness offer you that you wouldn’t appreciate otherwise? what do you know that happily-coupled people will never understand? find that thing. that is where abundance lives. that is the heaven where you store your treasure. if you can make the most of that, it will take away the sting of loneliness.

you are never alone

now, listen closely. you are your best friend. you are in charge of making sure you have a fucking fantastic new year and life. you can do this for yourself. if there isn’t someone to connect with right now, re-connect with yourself. carve away some time to write, to read, to paint, to sing. carve away some time to sit and listen to a record. do something that isn’t default. do something not because you should, not because you’re supposed to, not because it’s smart. in fact, don’t even do it because you want to; do it because it feeds your soul. do it because it makes you feel alive. reconnect with yourself and you’ll reconnect with life.